Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
