Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
