he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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