Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
