Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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