Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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