I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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