Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
