i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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