the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
