i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
