I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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