i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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