This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
