Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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