I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
