Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
