we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
