I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
