I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize