we made out on top of his cat.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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