I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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