Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he thought i was a dude.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
