Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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