I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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