So drunk its hurt
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize