if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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