Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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