Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
