Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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