Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize