dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
