I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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