Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
