Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
