Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
