I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
