Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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