The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
