I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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