I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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