Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize