Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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