watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
