she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
