WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize