I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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