I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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