I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
