He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize