so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
