i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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