His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
