she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
