I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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