Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
