hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
